Wednesday, September 11, 2002

by the way, i dont know if i said this but i am totaly happy for kara and jesse!!!
kara got engaged today, well, last night around midnight to be more exact. it's kinda weird when one of your good friends gets engaged. you get this kind of bittersweet feeling about it. on the one hand, i am so completely happy for her and jesse but at the same time, i'm kinda sad too. i dont know if its because she's getting married and moving on into the "adult world" and leaving me behind or if everyone gets this feeling when something like this happens. i can tell you that i am not jealous in the least, but there is something there, that bittersweet thing, that i just can't describe.

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

you know, there really is something to be said about random, off the wall, mood swings. i don't know what it is, maybe its pms, maybe its the fact that i have tons of emotions running, for the most part, unchecked throughout me and they change at a moments notice. sometimes i dont know if i control my emotions or if they control me. i am just not sure.
I was reading a friends journal and had an interesting thought. in it he was talking about how much silence we waste by spouting trivial, non-sensical ideas, competing with others to make ourselves heard. but really, how much of what is said is actually important? i realized that i myself talk with no purpose and miss out on the blessed experience that is sitting in silence with a friend. many people are uncomfortable by the mere idea of silence, therefore, they fill their space with chatter. how many people can you actually feel completely at peace with in silence without feeling the need to fill the space with words that don't need to be spoken? i am trying something out right now, speaking as little as possible, and speaking only when there is an absolute need to. i'll let you know how it turns out.