hope.

i've been having a tough time lately. i've been sullen and mopey. i have not been fun to be around (at least in my own company...) let's chalk some of that up to the gray, depressing days of winter. yeah, that sounds good. but i know that i can't blame it all on the weather. i could say that it's because i'm turning 29 again 30 and i'm a little, ok a lot freaked out about it. turning 30 has always seemed so far away. something that happens after you get married and start a family. when you have been working at a job you love instead of one that just pays the bills. but here i am, mere months from that elusive number and all i can think about is what i don't have but wish i did.

i want this.

 to experience this.

 to snuggle my own babes
and to whisper prayers over them.

to have someone take my family's portrait

at the beach.

to take my family here.

to get to here.

but for now, i am trying to be content with what i have. an amazing support system of family and of friends who are there for me when i need them. i want to live in the now and experience joy in that living. i don't know what my future holds and that scares me. but i have the hope of tomorrow and of the future.

"may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace

as you trust in him, 

so that you may overflow with hope

by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13

transparent.

i have a blog post that i want to share. but it is very personal. it is a part of me. sometimes i may sound a bit whiny. or i may come across as strong in parts. weak in others.

i have some major anxiety about being transparent. but i feel there is catharsis in sharing. 

so i will push the publish button at some point. but for now it is just a draft.

Jump forJoy I Heart Faces Week 10

Even though I think I missed the deadline for this week's entry, I still want to post this because I absolutely love this picture.

Head on over to iheartfaces for more awesome jump shots!